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"Darkness on the Edge of Town" Transcript

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SCENE: The Forbidden Fortress. Past. A valet of the lady of the castle stands guard but is quickly knocked to the floor by a tentacle. As he falls, the Sea Queen, Ursula comes forth.

Voice: Stop. (Ursula, surprised, does so. The camera pans over to reveal Maleficent.)
Maleficent: Just who the hell might you be? (Ursula's tentacles get a hold of the other witch's staff as Maleficent holds on.)
Ursula: Ursula. But you can call me "Your Majesty."
Maleficent: I don't bow down to fish.
Ursula: Who are you?
Maleficent: I'm the person whose valet you either knocked out, strangled, or tried to impregnate. I don't know what those tentacles are for.
Ursula: I was invited here. What's your excuse?
Maleficent: This is my home.
Ursula: So why did you send for me?
Maleficent: Believe me, I did not send for you.
Ursula: Then what--(She is cut short by the sound of dogs barking. Maleficent seizes her staff and readies it. The witches turn around to see a pair of angry rottweiler dogs and their mistress, Cruella De Vil, approaching them.)
Cruella: I wouldn't do that. (Maleficent lowers her staff.) Don't worry. They don't eat fish or dragon. Unless I tell them to. (Cruella blows a green smoke onto the dogs and they stop barking at once.) Thank you, my darlings. A wonderful job. I'll take it from here. (She turns her attention back to Maleficent and Ursula.) Now, who's going to tell me what the hell I'm doing in this ghastly place?
Maleficent: Lovely question, because this "ghastly place" is my home. And I didn't ask for any visitors.
Cruella: I received specific instructions--
Ursula: As did I.
Maleficent: I don't care. You're trespassing. And do you know what I do with trespassers?
Ursula: Don't even think it.
Rumplestiltskin: (Suddenly standing with the three witches.) Now, now, ladies. Don't tear each other apart. I need you all in one piece. Or rather, three pieces.
Maleficent: Rumplesiltskin. It was you.
Rumplestiltskin: Guilty.
Ursula: Someone want to tell me why I left the sea for this?
Rumplestiltskin: Oh, yes. The reason for this little tête-à-tête-à-tête... à tête. We all have something in common, apart from mutual distate. We're villains. And it's time the villains got their happy endings.


SCENE: Storybrooke. Present. The clock tower strikes 8:15. In front of Granny's Diner, Regina hugs Henry good-bye as he boards the school bus. The scene transitions to the school where Mary Margaret teaches a class, a small bird perched on her shoulder.

Mary Margaret: Who can tell me what the study of birds is called? (Henry raises his hand.) Henry?
Henry: Ornithology?
Mary Margaret: Very good.


SCENE: The montage of Storybrooke residents going about their daily lives continues. Regina enters the mayor's office and lays out her things. She then uses one of her signature fireballs to destroy that hideous bird painting and smiles.


At the Blanchard Loft, Granny cradles Neal in her arms as Emma goes into her closet and picks up her sheriff's badge and puts on her jacket. Outside Mr. Gold Pawnbroker & Antiquities Dealer, Hook waits with two coffees. When Emma arrives, he gives her one and they kiss before he takes his own. They walk to Storybrooke Free Public Library, where Belle is waiting. Belle opens the door and she and Hook enter. The scene finally transitions to inside the library as Hook stares at a board dealing with Mother Superior's disappearance into the Sorcerer's Hat. Angry, Hook knocks it over.


Belle: Well, I see you still have your temper.
Hook: Six weeks, and nothing! Still trapped inside that bloody hat!
Belle: Look, we just have to keep at it, okay? But we will find a spell to release the fairies. I mean, these translations are difficult, but I've reached out to some of the finest minds in the world and one of them will get back to us. I know it.
Hook: If we're reduced to those magic boxes, (Gesturing toward the computers.) then I say hope is in short supply.
Belle: They call it the Internet, and it can help us. And once we get the fairies out of the hat, they can help us release everyone else, including that poor old man you put in there!. (She begins to stock the books back onto their shelves.)
Hook: All because I let myself be tricked by that crocodile. How could I have been so weak?
Belle: Well, we both were. Rumplestiltskin got the best of us. And you're right, y-you should have been stronger, but I weren't and well, neither was I. I should've seen through him.
Hook: You were blinded by love. What was my excuse?
Belle: Probably the same, just for someone else.
Hook: Well, he was right about one thing: love is a weapon. As dangerous and persuasive as magic.
Belle: Yeah. (She sighs.) He had both of our hearts.